"I don't know what I need this kitchen for!" one guy exclaims. Well, I know I don't have any built-ins, but you can buy your own bookshelf or, hey, just throw your books on the fucking floor along with the mountains of trash and filth you'll wind up leaving everywhere, since every house in this town is inhabited by vile garbage monsters. "There is no place for my books in this house," one guy says. One woman wishes there were pictures in the rooms, though I'd think you want to live in a house with your own pictures, not someone else's. I guess it's just hard to find ways to compliment this dump.Ĭomplaints are weirder. "I like that there is only one bedroom" says a third. "Perfect: One and only one bedroom." says another. "Exactly just one bedroom," one guy says. Many seem shocked and delighted that there is one bedroom, but in a way that suggests they've encountered houses that have slightly more than one bedroom, but not quite two bedrooms. I decide to sell it at auction.Īs the various locals bid on my house, they tell me what they like and what they don't, and almost everything they tell me is weird. The place looks clean but still weird, what with an entire wall missing between the bathroom and bedroom, and awful tile walls in the kitchen, but I've run out of money again and I honestly can't take another moment in this house. I mop and wash windows and paint walls, I re-tile the kitchen floor, I replace the front door. I laboriously chase down every last smudge of dirt on the minimap. There's still tons to do just to make this house livable. Type something and hit 'Enter' for it to be converted to speech. At points I travel inside the shower, as if I have been shrunk down to ant size, to guide the various fittings into place. All I do is click and hold on the things it highlights to turn all the screws, attach all the fixtures, doors, rails, knobs. I'm genuinely confused as to why there's so much detail included: It feels like some sort of industrial demonstration video made by a shower manufacturer that someone got their hands on and put into a video game. It's too long for a gif, so I've included a video above. Exhausted and back at my own renovation, I buy and install a new shower, which is just baffling in the amount of detail it contains.
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